Washington is confused; Hollywood is not real.

In the movie Minority Report, Tom Cruise heads a police division called “Pre-crime.” I watched it and thought: ’Cool movie.’ John Ashcroft watched it and thought: ’Let’s do it!’

Recently Congress attempted to reauthorize 3 (three) “non-controversial” (read: “completely unconstitutional”) sections of The Patriot Act. For those who like to see for themselves google these variously: patriot act sec. 1805; patriot act sec. 1861; or, patriot act sec. 1862

Now, I could copy and paste the pertinent parts, but then you wouldn’t read it, so I will use a modicum of artistic license…

In order for a judge to grant the federal government the authority to spy on a citizen, a judge cannot consider activities that are constitutionally-protected. However, he or she can consider the possibilty of future crimes (pre-crime) based on past activities.

What sorts of activities can the FBI claim might lead a reasonable person to believe that terrorism is in a suspect’s future? Answer: Constitutionalists, Ron Paul supporters (Understand why his son Rand is against it now?), gun owners, veterans, libertarians, Patriot Act dissenters… (joking), to name a few. Feel safe now?

Now, at this point you might be yelling at your computer: “It only applies to foreigners you moron!” Yes, but what you don’t understand Bunky is that the judge will simply construe you as an “agent of a foreign power“ because you are, according to at least one FBI agent, a terrorist suspect. (Stop yelling now.)

Waging war against the United States is the quickest way to lose your citizenship status, and a judge can presume you to be an foreigner if you are suspected of being a traitor. Get it?

In other words: If an agent can prove that you attended a Ron Paul Rally, and were carrying concealed (legally or not), a judge can magically turn you into a foreigner and strip you of your constitutional rights because, after all, you might get a pilot’s license tomorrow and fly a Cessna into a parking meter. Right?

Before the Patriot Act federal agents generally needed a warrant to access your private records that were in the care of third parties. Now it’s almost as easy for the authorities to investigate you and confiscate “tangible” documents like medical records as it is to clip coupons.

Under the Patriot Act a judge can take the word of a federal agent to grant permission to confiscate documents. Oh, and by the way, neither the judge nor the agent can be prosecuted, ever, if they abuse this power.

The Department of Justice explains the new power found in 1861 thusly: ”A citizen cannot be searched “solely on the basis of activities protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution.” Detect a trend?

Sure, they’re your personal medical records, but didn’t you attend a Tea Party Rally a week ago? That’s an activity that might predict ”future” crime. Right?

A prosecutor can generally get a Grand Jury to indict a ham sandwich, and an ex parte (no Grand Jury or prosecutor, just an investigator) order can be obtained just as easily under the Patriot Act to get your papers. I am still chasing a rumor that this includes safety deposit boxes.

The Patriot Act is Hollywood, but it’s not a Tom Cruise flick; its Alice in Wonderland. At least eight freshman Republicans have read it, because they rejected it.

Finally, food for thought. 9/11 was an enormous act of pure evil, but it was not bigger than America, nor was it big enough to destroy the Constitution. Only we can do that.