Obama better pray that one of his devoted fans doesn’t shoot up an ATM tomorrow… But I digress.

Let’s go straight to the horse’s mouth, shall we?

Obama, yesterday: “A lot of businesses have learned to become much more efficient with a lot fewer workers. You see it when you go to a bank and you use an ATM, you don’t go to a bank teller or you go to the airport and you’re using a kiosk instead of checking in at the gate.”

Is the President of the United States trying to jumpstart the buggy-whip manufacturers?

Wait a minute though… At first blush his comment seems ridiculous, but maybe he’s on to something after all. Maybe we’re just too stupid to understand? He is our first President with an IQ over 160 after all (according to an idiot I overheard on a TV show).

I foresee a whole new industry based on stagecoaches and horse-drawn drayage… This might actually work! Obama! You magnificent bastard! How did we not see the solution when it was right in front of us all the time? The ATM comment must have been a trial balloon; I think I’ve figured out what he really wants to do, and it’s pure genius.

This must be at least part Obama’s secret new plan… Check it out:

Eliminate tractor-trailers, then we would need millions of wagons, horses, and assorted accoutremount to transport our food, clothing, etc.  All of those horses would need farriers, stall-cleaners, and veterinarians…  Think of the jobs that would be created building the wagons, manufacturing tack for horses, and of course, buggy-whip shops would spring up overnight throughout the land!

Heck, you would have to build huge horse barns at the edge of every major city in America. Think of the construction jobs! And once they finish building the state-of-art, eco-friendly horse hotels, the laborers could start training immediately to drive the Clydesdale-powered carriages across America!

To haul what the average 18-wheeler hauls would probably require 10 or 15 horse-drawn wagons, and they go so slow it would take weeks just to get from Chicago to New York. All of those drivers have to sleep at night! The motel business will skyrocket!

And the horse over-population problem in the West would be solved overnight! We wouldn’t need to senselessly kill horses anymore! As a matter of fact, we would probably have to start importing horses. And horses have to eat, so America’s farmers will have an enormous new market to service.

And all of those worthless kiosks and ATMs? Hollow ‘em out and make horse troughs out of ‘em. Horses have to drink, right?

Obama’s vision for America, finally revealed in all of its technicolor glory:

You tie your horse up to the hitching post at your local bank, dismount carefully, and walk inside. You’ll get to talk to a real live human being. And when you throw your saddle-bags on the counter so the teller can fill ‘em up with federal reserve notes, y’all can talk about the price of corn, or the latest bridle technology, or a new tip on how to keep your horse from bucking.

Wouldn’t that be better than waiting in line at a dehumanizing drive-thru?

I will never doubt my President again.