President O’Bama desires peace and Islam is the True Religion of Peace.
We need each other and will work together for the final victory, Insha’Allāh.
Although nominally an Irish Catholic, Barack Hussein O’Bama has done more than any other President of the United States to promote Islam. He has done so despite rabid conservative opposition based on the types of lies and hatred forbidden by our Great Religion of Peace. Hence I, Sheik Abdul beel-Zebub, in my capacity as The Grand Wizard of Islam, hereby offer our heartiest endorsement.
I know that many of the mindless ones will try — unsuccessfully — to use our endorsement as a weapon against President O’Bama, may his holy name be blessed throughout eternity if such be the will of Allah (hereinafter “Insha’Allāh”). They will be cured of their senseless hatred before being permitted to vote, Insha’Allāh.
Wisely, President O’Bama selected a learned congressman, Debbie Washerman Schultz, to lead his Democratic National Committee. There is no more Democratic step that he could possibly have taken than to grant him that position and to keep him fully apprised of all of his praiseworthy initiatives. If the wise congressman were a mere female that would have been an impossible task — but one that only President O’Bama could have accomplished, just as he will continue to do in his uniquely masterful way with his devoted and obedient wife, Michelle, Insha’Allāh.
In bestowing our coveted endorsement upon President O’Bama who — despite continuous Republican fraud and other chicanery — is certain to win, Insha’Allāh, there is no need for us to state our reasons; they are well known to all of our faithful. However, lest the heathen feel neglected, here are some of our incontestable reasons:
President O’Bama has brought peace and prosperity to the Islamic lands so that we can make full use of the great blessing of Allāh — oil — by selling it to heathen; with the ample store of glorious camel dung the great Allāh the all merciful has provided, we do not need oil for ourselves; it is Black and filthy. President O’Bama has worked his miracle for Allāh’s people by limiting the United States’ domestic supplies of oil and of oil from non-Islamist countries. He will continue to bless us for as long as he shall reign; may he do so for many years, Insha’Allāh.
President O’Bama has also advanced our great cause by enabling us to make tremendous strides toward Islamic nuclear power. His Allāh-given wisdom will help Iran to export even more filthy Black oil than previously by ensuring his reelection and therefore the continuation of his wise policies.
Here’s the scenario we are supposed to believe: Obama’s sanctions (the tough Obama) have severely damaged Iran and so Tehran is looking for a way out. At the same time, though, Obama’s flexibility in dealing with possible enemies wins them over (the empathetic Obama). Thus, Obama’s greatness as a statesman might solve this problem of Iran’s nuclear drive short of war.
Believe it the heathen must and therefore believe it they shall, Insha’Allāh.
President O’Bama’s brilliant strategy is a gift from the almighty Allāh, coming at the last minute in a hard fought election battle in which his Allāh-inspired foreign policy has come under severe and specious attack. Our Iranian brethren, at no cost to themselves, have gained even more time as they continue to go full-steam ahead with their quest for nuclear weaponry, needed for Islam to defeat the vile expansionist Joos of Israel.
The threat of widespread riots if President O’Bama is not reelected has been a powerful force for good and he has encouraged this wholesome activity as has no other President. As observed at our blessed news site, Press TV,
If the Republicans steal another presidential election, …America might experience a wave of protests that would make the aftermaths of the Martin Luther King assassination, and the Rodney King beating, look like a picnic in the park.
As well they should. President O’Bama has wisely promoted his beloved goal of dependency by encouraging unemployment and underemployment among the masses of Blacks and other wretchedly deprived citizens to create a society reliant upon his own great largess. Our wretched sisters, who desire nothing more than dutifully to adore their beloved masters, have become dependent on President O’Bama for birth control and abortifacient necessities they cannot themselves afford and which they can not beg their masters to buy for them, a glorious leap forward for female liberation! To assist them in their struggles, I have declared a fatwa against all who would deprive them of these blessings of Allāh, may his holy name be praised for all eternity; my inspired fatwa shall be successful and they shall repent of their wicked heresies, Insha’Allāh.
Israel is the most vile enemy of Islam and its unholy occupation of Palestine is the most horrid act of apostasy in the history of the world. Israel must be destroyed and with it all of the filthy blood sucking Joos who feast upon the blood of our splendid youth after preparing their vile blood filled matzo balls with which to engorge their bloated bellies as they eat their ghastly fill. May they all be destroyed, Insha’Allāh.
Against the remote possibility that our beloved Black Brethren (whom we usually despise, but that’s different) backslide, President O’Bama has once again enlisted the aid of his spiritual mentor the Reverend Jeremiah
Bullfrog Wright who, although a Negro and therefore cursed, has as great and mature understandings of the beauties of Islam as does the Negro Minister Louis Farrakhan Muhammad, may their sort of holy names be praised throughout eternity, Insha’Allāh.
So that these miraculous events will unfold in accordance with prophecy and our Islamic Nation united under the Great Caliphate will arise triumphant for all eternity, President Obama will be reelected, Insha’Allāh. Black traitors to their race who bring only racial strife and hatred will be defeated and our Glorious Caliphate will reign supreme, Insha’Allāh.
These are but a few of our reasons for endorsing President O’Bama, the President of the United States most deserving ever of reelection. May his holy name be praised throughout Eternity, Insha’Allāh! All who revere Allāh will vote for President O’Bama’s reelection and do all that they can to ensure that the wicked heathen do not steal his blessed election, Insha’Allāh.
First published at Dan Miller’s Blog.