By Mr. Curmudgeon:
Two days before the election of all elections, a coveted celebrity endorsement was released in the form of a column appearing on the Huffington Post website. With the mainstream media reporting polls showing President Obama and challenger Mitt Romney neck-and-neck (nonsense), hope and change found an eleventh-hour savior in Paul Rubens – known to you, your kids and Sarasota vice cops as Pee-Wee Herman.
“It struck me that the choice I’ll be making Tuesday is like going for store-bought ice cream when it’s obvious what you really need is homemade frozen custard,” said the man who pleaded no contest to charges stemming from his arrest for masturbating at an adult theater in Sarasota, Florida, “President Obama is like the delicious frozen custard you’d get at Kohr’s. President Obama has the 1.4 percent egg yolk solids needed to run this country,” wrote Rubens.
President Obama certainly attracts an interesting crowd. The kind of strange misfits the media insist are in the “mainstream.” Rubens is just one of countless bizarre constituents that form the base of the Democratic Party.
As of yet, there has been no official reaction from the Obama campaign. My guess is they are all taking hot showers at the thought of having to shake Pee-Wee’s hand.