Bonnie and Clyde Didn’t HAVE No Cellphone


Good Lord willing, and the creek don’t rise, tomorrow, at 4:00 PM, New York time, you should be able to make a phone call, and some pervert in Utah won’t be listening in! That provision of the Patriot Act that enabled the NSA to do what would put you and I in jail will pass into history. Thank God, and Edward Snowden.     I have noticed something over the years. Any time you try to blend the words “intelligence” and “government” you get a mustard and jelly sandwich. As more and more money processes through the government gumshoe express, less and less gets done, and the selected agency will practically live on Capitol Hill, giving long, detailed renditions of how the entire country will dissolve like an Alka Seltzer should they miss even one dollar in the upcoming fiscal year. Just like those idiotic cops this week in Austin, sitting there with a gun on their hip, trying to explain why we shouldn’t have a gun on OUR hip! THAT kind of dog and pony show!     Now let’s examine this. How many terrorists has the NSA nabbed that stemmed from the billions spent hiring people eavesdropping on Claire, and her eighty year old twin sister out in Lampasas, Texas discussing Bar B Que recipes? Let’s see, them fellers up in Boston? No, missed that. How about those two guys up in Garland? No, I think Pamela Geller got them. With all this time and money I’m sure they caught SOMEbody. They did stick their hands in my pants at an airport out in LA. No, that wasn’t the NSA that was the TSA. I know . . . They caught SNOWDEN! Wrong again, he caught THEM. Well, they did get some nice computers, and a bunch or real swanky buildings. But, so did the Mormon Church, and all they want to do is get you off coffee.     Did you notice how when Putin let Snowden stay in Russia he didn’t seem to be interested in what Edward had? That’s ’cause there wasn’t anything THERE, folks! All them there terabytes of information with no more import than a Betty Crocker Cook Book. And you’re PAYING these people! Oh, entities like the NSA, CIA, FBI, and all the rest are real good at ticking people off, starting wars and riots, but let someone such as Osama Bin Forgotten sit twenty five miles away, sipping on fruit juice, and looking at pictures of naked goats, and they’re clueless! The “intelligence” gathering think tanks are remarkably consistent at this. They missed all those Japanese planes at Pearl Harbor, and told nineteen wild eyed fanatics to “have a nice flight” on 9/11! Now, I’m just a simple ol’ boy from Austin, but am I missing something here? Any Texas deputy sheriff would have sniffed at those pressure cookers in Boston that day and said, “There ain’t no brisket in there!”     Bonnie and Clyde didn’t HAVE a cell phone. They had Frank Hamer hot on their butts with five very irritated Texas Rangers. A Texas Sheriff chased Henry Lee Lucas all the way to California, and dragged his screaming butt all the way back to Texas. Uh, Henry didn’t have a cell phone either.     Hey, I’ve got an idea, why don’t we do this. First off, stop meddling in the affairs of other countries that we are supporting. Let THEM run their show on THEIR dime. I think scrounging for a sandwich might take the zeal out of Allah, what do you think? Next, stop letting unemployed criminals come across the border and take up residence in condos in Dilly, Texas. That might be a good idea, huh, and last but not least, don’t let any more ARABS fly on planes! HEY, I should run for president, I really should!HAMERphoto

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The Butcher Shop is an alternative news source based in the Tea Party Tribune with an eye on God, family, and preservation of America. It is a collection of minds started by Bill the Butcher, a conservative op/ed journalist who began publishing forty years ago. We strive to make the articles informative, entertaining, and diverse. All you see will cause you to stop and consider. We try not to drone on with the same old day after day clap trap that may have driven you away from mainstream media. You will read things here that you will see nowhere else. We are from London to Austin to the Escalanté. So, what’s your cut of meat? Shop around. The Butcher Shop is happy to fill your order.