When I think about all the times that I tried to slip into the girl’s locker room back in high school and all I had to do was stroll into the principal’s office, and tell Mr. Patterson that deep inside I knew I was a woman! You know, sometimes I really have to reach to find something funny to say, what with all the ISIS, NSA, Obama, and what, but every now and then something just runs up and jumps out at me. Two words, Bruce Jenner! Now that’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are. You know, as a recovering redneck, I used to get mad about people like Bruce, but then I realized that it’s a little like getting mad at a circus clown. I watched him, she, it, I don’t know, do that interview with that lady, and she’s sitting there like she has good sense, nodding her head while he explains how he really feels. You remember when I told you about “Town Fairy?” Well, brothers and sisters, that’s Town FAIRY!
I have a serious question; If Bruce was really a girl inside, shouldn’t he give back all those medals he won? I mean, he was in the wrong category, right? So I’m sitting out on my porch yesterday, scanning the headlines, grieving for the NSA, and the lead story pops up. Now, you know me, girl, legs, nice hair, yeah, but it was BRUCE! That beautiful woman was just a beautiful man! And he’s like sixty-five years old or such. THAT’S the part that really gets me. Frenchi barely looks that good, and she’s just out of diapers! I don’t know what he’s been eating, but it seems to have been filled with a lot of vitamins. . . ooops, bad choice of words, but you get my point.
Now, all the trans-gender crowd is rallying to Bruce’s call. I guess they’re a new minority, or something like that. God, I miss the good old days when minorities were just a different color and they were all plain out boys and girls. Muhammad Ali changed his religion, but he didn’t show up to fight Frasier in a skirt! Now that would’ve been trick! “I just want all ya’ll to know that all these years I’ve known deep in my heart that I’m a woman. . . OH GOD! I BROKE a NAIL!” But, do you want to know the problem? Whenever you get one of these Looney Tunes after all the debate and laughter dies down these people get RIGHTS! That’s right, RIGHTS! Then they turn militant. Then you get a new list of words that you can’t use anymore, then Obama says, “If I had a son, he would look like them.” Wait, he does have two daughters. . . but they don’t look like Bruce Jenner. Hey, off topic for a minute, Obama’s daughters are a heck of a lot prettier than Clinton’s kid! But, Bruce is cuter than Michelle. Wow! Did I ever digress!
I guess I’m too old school for all this. Back in the day the girls wore dresses, guys wore jeans, and things worked out ok, I guess. Actually, I think Jenner is a publicity hound, myself. Who was president back when he won all that stuff? There weren’t any cell phones, internet, or Starbucks. I don’t know. Anyway, he found a way to get to the head of the line in the Mainstream Media, and I’m tired of ISIS beheadings anyway. Still got the image of Ali in a dress boxing Frasier stuck in my head. I need more coffee.The Butcher Shop