Dead As Cornbread

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Cornbread

Dead as cornbread! I think that’s a fairly accurate description of Hillary’s run for the White House. All Nixon did was let one of his daughters play with the Watergate tapes with a magnet, and he caught the next flight for California. When I was in high school my Civics teacher, Mr. Cole told us the worse scandal in American history was the Teapot Dome thing. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Clintons! These chuckle heads out do me, and that’s going some. Hey, I’m not running for office, I just write a few articles, and try to milk beer money out of my publishers. We all thought that Bill’s little pizza date in the Oval Office was about as far as anyone could go and survive politically. Nobody knew about Hillary’s date with Yoko Ono, (how did she skirt that one?) What do you get when you cross breed two crooked lawyers? Chelsea Clinton! How in the nation’s history did two Hillbillies from Arkansas gain so much power and influence? Well, first off, Hillary’s not from Arkansas, she’s a Yankee, and next, Bill didn’t go to college in Arkansas, which is a plus. Hey, legal question: If you get married in Arkansas, and divorced in Arkansas, are you still brother and sister?

From White Water to Benghazi, Hillary has danced on a razor’s edge for years. Other people in the public eye can commit just a smidgen of what she’s pulled and they’re thrown out of the Army, charged with a crime, end up with public ridicule, and Alex Jones accuses them of leading the New World Order. Hillary could pee on the White House steps and the Liberal Left would say she had found a new way to fix global warming. Am I the only one who thinks there is something wrong with this picture?

It’s called “Dynasty” people, and the Clinton Dynasty is about to “die nasty!” Hillary has finally crossed that fine line that even makes meth heads sit up and say, “DAYUM!” Her candidacy is as dead as cornbread! Bernie Sanders is running neck and neck with her in Iowa right now. Oh, my LIVING God! Bernie Sanders? She can’t beat Bernie Sanders? In every election you get these freaked out hippies who come on the scene, and nobody wants to say out loud that they’re crazy. Did someone say, “Ron Paul?” Bernie Sanders is as crazy as an outhouse rat, (remember you heard that here first!) That having been said, he’s still giving Hillary a run for her money, and folks, she’s got some money. The Clintons set up a foundation, involved number one daughter, and cleaned up. Hey, I can BS as good as them, how come I’m not rich like that? Chelsea makes Obamas daughters look good. Shucks, Chelsea makes Michelle Obama look good. The biggest threat to the planet today is Chelsea will breed and produce more Clintons! What do you get when you cross Chelsea with Bruce Gender. . . I’m not even gonna go there. Maybe in California.

If Hillary is nominated it will not be the end of the Democratic Party. All the Liberals will flock to the polls, and put the Wicked Witch of the north in office. Then we’ll have to put up with eight more years of the abomination we’ve all come to love. I, myself, am going to try my best to write a bestselling book, take my check Rubles, and move to Mexico, (I understand El Chapo is hiring.) But, fear not! When the winds of insanity blow, just remember that cornbread!

Bill the Butcher
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I write right off the top of my head. I’m direct, funny, and simple. The key word is, “simple.” I have a high school education from Killeen High in Killeen, Texas, and that’s about as illiterate as you can be, and they still let you drive a car. No use trying to slander me. If you want to dig dirt on me you’d better bring a dump truck, because friend, I’ve done it all. If there was anything I missed it’s only because no one told me about it, because if they did, well, I’d have done that, too! I call myself, “A Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin,” because when I fall short I can always say, “Hey, I told you from the start that I was stupid.”

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