Ah SO!

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Ah So

Ah So

Charlie Chan used to say, “Ah SO!” Things have changed since Charlie’s day.  Global economics are dynamic. The one thing you must remember is this “global” thing is fairly new. Never before in history has the world been able to communicate so completely as it can today. Just look at it. The Romans thought they controlled the world. What did they really control? The Mediterranean area. Oh, I hear you. They conquered Europe! Heck, Hitler did that! Did it in a shorter time, too. Attila the Hun? Same deal. Didn’t even conquer Rome and died in bed with a teenage girl. Hey, I’m impressed. And so it has gone all down through history. Up until now!

People are used to governments being the powerhouse on the world stage. Well, there’s a new kid on the block. Governments, kings, and unions ruled by the power of armies. Let’s not forget to throw in religion. Long about 600 AD or so, when the Romans were desperately trying to learn German, Mohammed came screaming across the desert with a new flavor. He figured out that if he could get everyone on a rug, facing Mecca that he could virtually erase national boundaries. The Holy Roman Empire followed suit, and by 1000 AD we had two factions, suited up and ready for what really amounted to the real World War I.

Now, I hate to say this about my noble ancestors, but Europeans are an unstable bunch of pricks! Oh, they look down their noses pretty good now, with gun control, free marijuana, and lots of polite talk about how bad we Americans are, but we learned from the best. I watched a most interesting video last night. It was a time lapse thing showing the shifting European borders changing over the last thousand years, and brothers and sisters, the most stable borders were when Hitler was doing his thing. Imagine THAT!

With this latest push in the Ukraine the lame stream media tries to make it seem as though this is something new. They look across someone’s border and say, “Oops! Someone’s over there speaking Russian. That’s MINE!” And this isn’t restricted to just Russia. Oh no! You had the Roman Empire, the British Empire and the American Empire. Swat them bees, swat them bees! And Americans are like roaches. Once you get ’em, they never leave! Americans haven’t learned a single thing from history. When you defend YOUR borders, that’s cool. When you defend someone ELSE’S border, not so much! You would be hard pressed to find a single area on the globe where there is not an American presence of some kind. And it’s all very politically correct, of course. Americans have an uncanny knack for peeing down someone’s back, and tell them it’s raining! Meanwhile, while worrying about Russia, America’s borders have less security than Disneyland.

But, while we white folk are worried about the price of vodka there has been a group of people slowly rising, getting ready, and slipping onto the world stage through the back door. The Chinese! Now wait, wait, before you start laughing and calling me a Texas redneck, hear me out. Within one lifetime China has evolved. Back in the 1930’s and ’40’s the Japanese kicked their butts all OVER the Gobi Desert. It was like the little skinny kid in the school yard slapping the fat kid and the fat kid just stood there crying and sucking snot. And just think about it. China has actually never invaded ANYBODY! They are famous for building WALLS to keep to themselves. Well, in the words of Bob Dylan, “Times They Are A-Changing!”     We of European decent invented the corporation. The Chinese took it to the Nth degree. China doesn’t HAVE an economy. Their economy is whatEVER the Chairman says it is. So when you value the dollar up against the yen you basically have a sliding scale. The yen comes across as a poor cousin. Only problem is that yen is buying stuff. The Chinese are BUYING America. The same little yellow guys who built the railroads that spanned the continent are now bidding for them, and Americans are too greedy, or too stupid to see this. Who controls Long Beach, the only deep water port on the west coast? Just look it up. Who completed the largest corporate sale in the last five years? Here, have a bowl of rice. When did these guys stop being communist?

There is only one teeny, tiny little bump in the Manchurian Highway. TEXAS! Our old fashioned, racist, redneck, tobacco chewing gun toting population of nationalists casts a jaundiced eye toward such Yankee shenanigans. They are three types of people slipping across our southern border. First, of course, you have the Mexicans. Then, Central Americans, but the third group is Chinese. So, on one hand we have them trying to buy Los Angeles, and on the other we have a whole new brand of wetbacks slipping across the border.     The Texas Nationalist Movement is more American than you might imagine. We actually believe in things like borders, real money, mommy and daddy, and hot apple pie, and then, there’s that nasty ol’ constitution. When Texas secedes we don’t even have to write a constitution. We’ll just use theirs, they’re not doing anything with it right now. While the Nortés are picking one from column B and two from column A, and paying for it by selling their souls, the Texas contingent is drawing a very politically incorrect line in the sand. When it comes down to it, and the Republic of Texas becomes a reality, the western United States will have a choice. Will they eat rice, or will they eat steak. Frankly, I don’t know. I look out at California and I see men marrying men, women marrying women and dogs marrying cats, and I really can’t see that bunch of wine heads standing up for much of anything. Oh, by the way “dudes,” check out the Chinese view of homosexuality.

Most people of common sense are migrating to Texas as I write. Shucks, Ireland put an Embassy in Austin. Toyota, Carl’s Jr, you name it. They’re all coming here, and Uncle Remus at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. can’t seem to figure that out. The lines are being drawn, people. You can’t run away. Texas is the last bastion of liberty left. We don’t intend to sell it, or give it away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lone Star Beer and Moon Pies, but we have a real good time. Aaaaah SO!

Bill the Butcher
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I write right off the top of my head. I’m direct, funny, and simple. The key word is, “simple.” I have a high school education from Killeen High in Killeen, Texas, and that’s about as illiterate as you can be, and they still let you drive a car. No use trying to slander me. If you want to dig dirt on me you’d better bring a dump truck, because friend, I’ve done it all. If there was anything I missed it’s only because no one told me about it, because if they did, well, I’d have done that, too! I call myself, “A Simple Ol’ Boy From Austin,” because when I fall short I can always say, “Hey, I told you from the start that I was stupid.”

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