Election Integrity Depends on YOU



Jill Stein says – Election Integrity depends on YOU!

Illusionist and snake oil saleswoman, Jill Stein, failed Green Party 2016 Presidential Candidate, has magically raised enough funds in only one week to demand a recount in three key states. According to her website, she is doing this to ensure the integrity of the recent US Election.

In her recent bid for the presidency, Ms. Stein was only able to secure about 3.5 million dollars in the past year, of which she spent 3.4 million. Now, in a miracle the size of the birth of the baby Jesus proportions, she has been able to amass double that in less than a week. Besides the obvious conflicts and manipulations of others people’s money, there are far more interesting implications for this scenario.

The irony of a woman who tweeted “Fidel Castro was a symbol of the struggle for justice in the shadow of empire” in regards to the death of the dictator this past week, who now sees herself as working to ensure the integrity of a democratic election, only shows the level of self-reflection the average politician is incapable of in today’s world. Ummm Jill, neither you, nor the Castro regime are protecting anyone from injustice.

Jill, who also stated, “The answer to neofascism is stopping neoliberalism. Putting another Clinton in the White House will fan the flames of this right-wing extremism. We have known that for a long time, ever since Nazi Germany” has forgotten her own words. Yet, here she is working to put that same neoliberal in office.

Glaring “irregularities” aside, how is it Jill could raise so much money, a million dollars a day, in the last week, but not hundreds of millions to fund her own election bid? A year of this level of fundraising would have given her an election bid similar to Ms. Clinton or President Elect Trump. Instead, a post-election recount is where she focuses her energy? Hey, we all would like a little extra income, and getting it from bilking the opposing political party, well now that is priceless.

Assuming, pretty safely I think, there will be money left over, I wonder where she will spend it all?

The Green Party states one of their platform ideals is a “classless, nonhierarchical society that is harmonized with itself . . . and nature . . . ” Perhaps Jill will invest in an organic goat farm. She could sell goat soap and magic beans to Democrats from her magic bean garden. These magic beans will grow a Democratic candidate who actually is in tune with the average working stiff. Being a gardener myself, I am positive liberal amounts of manure will be required.

The Green Party also would like to end the “War on Drugs” by decriminalizing the possession of drugs. Hellooo Jill Stein Purveyor of Fine Marijuana and Other Medicinals. Maybe a daycare, after all the Green Party advocates free and voluntary (whatever that means) childcare. I mean, all the “herbalists” are going to need someone to watch the children while they are enjoying their decriminalization. Maybe the kids could work at the goat farms while the parents grow weed.

Ralph Nader, another well-known Green Party candidate, once referred to the “money horse race” as unhealthy and rancid politics. Turns out the Green Party is as much like any other political group as any, but in the meantime, for those of you who believe in the story Ms. Stein is feeding you, I have some magic beans to sell you.