Brigham City

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Brigham City sits in an idyllic valley surrounded by mountains in the northeastern part of Utah. Snow caps the mountains much of the year. Main Street is lined with perfectly spaced trees, and there Brigham Cityis an arch spanning the road reminding visitors that Brigham City is the home of a bird sanctuary. Why even the birds fly down for a vacation. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints erected a temple in the center of the town and it’s second only to the Salt Lake Temple in grandeur.

The shops in Brigham City are many, and have not bowed to the presence of a Super Walmart. On Medical Drive there’s a bakery which serves the biggest cinnamon rolls you ever saw, so big they come in a cake box, combined with cappuccinos that would make Starbucks blush with shame. Amazingly, there is no Starbucks in Brigham City because the Temple worthy do not partake.

The town has many parks, which the populace indulges, playing basketball, taking strolls, or maybe just feeding those birds that happen to be in town for the season. Children crowd the parks, and for all appearances, under the watchful eye of the Little GirlMormons, all children are safe because no one can recall when there was a violent crime in Brigham City. The society is very structured there. When Brigham Young gave his last speech there the Mormons flocked in and carved a place in the desert. Most of the residents are descended from those pioneers today.

No matter what you may think of the LDS Church you simply cannot have breakfast in Brigham City and not give a tip of the hat to Brother Brigham, and all the people who have struggled to keep their town clean and the evils of the world out. The spirit of Porter Rockwell has long since been laid to rest, however, and in their complacency, silently, elements of malicious intent have filtered into Brigham City. Elements with its roots as far away as Montana and Colorado, descending on the sleepy hamlet, doing evil while most of the inhabitants are more concerned with getting to church on time than scrutinizing every stranger in a city park.

In a town where Pioneer Day is a very big deal, as the parade goes by, in the crowd are men capitalizing on the gentle nature of the Mormons, using their beliefs to lure unsuspecting little girls to parks and operating a sex trafficking operation that would amaze the police chief of Austin, Sex Offenders in Brigham CityTexas. Brigham City has more perverts than a CPS waiting room! We are going to be telling you about this in the next few weeks. It is a serious investigation, which will turn Brigham City on its ear, and hopefully wake other towns in America up because if this can happen there, it can happen to you! To paraphrase the Prophet Brigham Young, “Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, but I do take a little myself!”

Bill the Butcher
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I write right off the top of my head. I'm direct, funny, and simple. The key word is, "simple." I have a high school education from Killeen High in Killeen, Texas, and that's about as illiterate as you can be, and they still let you drive a car. No use trying to slander me. If you want to dig dirt on me you'd better bring a dump truck, because friend, I've done it all. If there was anything I missed it's only because no one told me about it, because if they did, well, I'd have done that, too! I call myself, "A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin," because when I fall short I can always say, "Hey, I told you from the start that I was stupid."

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