Lame Duck Jimmy Fallen

The scary side of humor

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Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy FallonWhat’s worse than a lame duck politician? A lame duck comedian. What’s worse than a lame duck comedian? One that’s the host of the Tonight Show! I give you Jimmy Fallen! The Democratic Party has relegated its hopes for command of the legislative branch of government to a band of crazy clowns like the ones who have been terrorizing children for some time now. If you don’t believe that just look at Whoopi Goldberg. Fallon is at the point of the charge of the Obama Lite brigade. Now, I’m gonna tell you right off, preferring comedians who can tell jokes, I don’t know a damn thing about Jimmy Fallon so let’s go to the experts.

James Thomas Fallon (born September 19, 1974) is an American comedian, actor, television host, singer, writer, and producer. He is known for his work in television as a cast member on Saturday Night Live and as the host of late-night talk show The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and before that Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. He grew up with an interest in comedy and music, moving to Los Angeles at 21 to pursue opportunities in stand-up comedy. (Wikipedia)

There! Now for my take. I have Alexa. Moreover I have Dot. Every morning I have coffee on the porch, light a cigarette, and tell Dot to read me the news. I don’t have a girlfriend so Dot will have to do. God hope she’s of age. Listening to her as I write this. And I listen to it all. Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, you name it. I’m fair and balanced. So I thought a little humor might be nice. I go to the Alexa app, and there’s this option to listen to Jimmy’s monologue on the Tonight Show. My parents used to listen to that, and they hated Yankees. Carson, yeah. Then there was that guy with the bullet hole in his chin. So this Jimmy guy must be funny, right? Wrong?

Oh, you’d think he’s funny from all the laughter streaming from the audience. That’s because his liberal California audience has a buzzer installed in their shorts and every time he says anything someone pushes a button up in there in the control booth, the lemmings pull the condoms out of their noses and break out in Hillary, I mean hilarity. His subject? Only one. Donald Trump. Every single line. Sometimes he has to reach, but it doesn’t matter. From mocking Trump’s New York accent to two guys repeating ”I Don’t think so honey, ” Jimmy bombs all over the stage as the cream of California society soils itself.

And I try. I really do. Bill Mahr is funny. The late great George Carlin was funny. Kim Jong Un is funny. All I can say is Fallon must have one hell of a contract. In former days the proverbial hook would loom ominously behind his neck. This is political humor that’s been left out in the California sun too long. Comedians make political jokes, ok? I get that. That’s where humor has its value. You take a fact, add exaggeration, and that makes it funny. You know the exaggeration isn’t exactly true, but as you laugh, you think. Nixon provided his own humor. ”I’m not a crook!” Will Rodgers used to chop at politicians all the time. But he hit ’em all, and on a wide range of subjects. If you listen to Fallon you’re gonna get ten minutes of poorly written material with the sloppiest delivery since the very first Cesarean. And unlike generations past, Fallon’s Coliseum is filled with cheering minions who take his drivel as gospel no matter how poorly informed, hateful, or outright false.

And is the Left’s big guns! I crappith thee not! This is what they’re putting their money on to carry the mid-term. This is their idea of saving America. MALA! Make America Last Again! A lame comedian with lame writers who couldn’t catch a joke with a baseball mitt, and a following who can’t find Alabama on a map. And I’m not just picking on this guy. He’s not funny! He reminds me of the scene from ”Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask” where the king comes charging over the banquet table at Woody Allen because his jokes just killed everybody’s buzz.

One can only hope that one day the Tonight Show will re-emerge with someone who can understand comedy, have some sense of timing, and deliver a punch line. And for God’s sake get rid of those two guys with that ”I Don’t think so honey” skit. They sound like they have a buzzer in THEIR shorts.. Get it? Gay guys, buzzer in their shorts. Fact, exaggeration, humor. I’m available for hire, Jimmy. Is that politically on correct enough for you? Mike drop.

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I write right off the top of my head. I'm direct, funny, and simple. The key word is, "simple." I have a high school education from Killeen High in Killeen, Texas, and that's about as illiterate as you can be, and they still let you drive a car. No use trying to slander me. If you want to dig dirt on me you'd better bring a dump truck, because friend, I've done it all. If there was anything I missed it's only because no one told me about it, because if they did, well, I'd have done that, too! I call myself, "A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin," because when I fall short I can always say, "Hey, I told you from the start that I was stupid."

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