Ever since Mark Zuckerberg showed his entire ass on Capitol Hill the world has cast a jaundiced eye at Facebook. Then, he followed up by calling a secret meeting in Silicon Valley that made Alex Jones far bigger than he ever dreamed he would be. Now he’s turned his attention to Peter Ehlers. I crappith thee NOT! So who is Peter Ehlers?
Well, if Zuckerberg’s track record holds true, Peter’s about to be the next big thing. He runs a Facebook group known as “All Friends” that has an international following and discusses everything from Arab/Israeli politics to the proper martini without getting into a bunch of mud slinging so evident on other groups. So what in the world did this old Englishman do that caused Facebook to invent a whole new version of Facebook Jail smacking of house arrest?
Well, he had an opinion. That’s always dangerous when you find yourself at the mercy of some little nerd in California who got lucky with what should’ve been just another dating site. Peter was born in Iran of European parents, married a South African woman, and wound up in England. He HAS an opinion. He is my mentor, and over the years has groomed me from a fairly ignorant Texas desert rat to something resembling a journalist. He has schooled me in everything from society to scotch. Real scotch, not the American kind that he wouldn’t use to clean his shoes.
Peter introduced me to American imperialism. Not in a mean way. He simply pointed out that America was racing down the same path that England did before the world deflated the British Empire. Shortly after that I became a Texas Secessionist. He doesn’t like the way Israel is treating the Palestinians. Myself, I can’t tell them apart. Every since Obama made the Texas border look like the dawn at the Alamo I’ve divided the human race into two categories, Mexican, and not so Mexican. If you’re not legally living in America, and you’re brown, you must be a Mexican. But Peter CAN tell them apart, and he’ll let you know about it in a very civilized British way. I think this is what drew Facebook’s ire.
Freedom of speech, and the free flow of information really gets under Zuckerberg’s skin as he consistently denies that the biggest social media platform on the planet bears no responsibility to be obedient to the first amendment of the constitution of the United States. We’ve all seen it bastardized over the years. Clinton’s what the definition of “is”is, Giuliani’s truth ain’t truth, and now Zuckerberg’s “I wasn’t wid dem brothas.” All trying to slither around the simple idea that people have a right to formulate ideas, and speak their mind so long as they don’t advocate violence. You’re allowed to hurt feelings. Apparently Peter hurt Zuckerberg’s feelings.
You will not see Facebook suddenly disappear. What you will see is a gradual deterioration of subscribers. Millennials are already bailing, believing the platform is a relic of a bygone age fit only for old people trying to keep up with their grandchildren and Russians trying to swing elections with funny memes. Millennials gave us the Tide Pod challenge and even THEY have Facebook’s number!
The scary part is that Facebook’s reach is so vast, and business model so insidious that none of us are safe be they a conspiracy talk show host in Austin, Texas or a benevolent old Englishman in London, England. This bears looking into friends and neighbors. For now I raise a glass to the better man, Peter Ehlers. Scotch! Not American whiskey. I wouldn’t insult Peter like that!
The Butcher Shop