Two Drunk Girls Walked Into a Party

Happens all the time

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Two Drunk Girls

Two Drunk Girls

I don’t normally engage in Facebook debates, but I did today. Why? Well, it was Sunday, and I was drinking martinis. Facebook debates go nowhere. They’re like having your brother in law over for Thanksgiving dinner. But, I jumped into one. I use Facebook for one ramp out of many. I do NOT put my eggs in the basket of some kid out in California who got lucky with a dating site.

So, what was so interesting that I felt like it would brighten my cocktail? The confirmation of a Supreme Court justice. Now THAT’S exciting. About as exciting as taking your sister to the senior prom, unless your from Arkansas of course. First and foremost Brett Kavanuagh is about as interesting as vanilla ice cream. He went to a Catholic School, saved all his calendars and never changed wives. I seriously didn’t think they made those anymore.

Now what do you think the big deal is? Back in 2016 the Democratic Party lost their entire ass. Check the papers. I’m telling you the truth. So they had to make a big fuss to distract from the fact that they have screwed the pooch and they seize upon what? The boring confirmation hearing of a middle of the road judge who never broke an egg.

How far did they dig? A party between a bunch of drunk high school kids. Dianne Feinstein was who done it. That’s because she hasn’t been laid since the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. Look at her. If that facelift knot comes loose she’ll have to unbutton her blouse to brush her teeth. But she’s the moral compass for the committee. Democrat! Dead baby in every pot. Gay sex taught to third graders. Running her home state on hot checks. Yeah, HER!

Here’s the situation. Two girls decide to go to a party and get drunk with a bunch of boys. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, they’re every bit of fifteen, sixteen? So they’re romping around in the bed, and by and by SOMEone touches a pootie poo. I’m SURE that’s where no man has gone before. Girl gets upset and skedaddles out the door, leaving her friend behind who continues to party her pretty little ass off. Thirty six years later she don’t remember nothing. That’s because she ain’t telling the MAN nothing. I like her.

So time and tears go by and there’s this hearing. What to do? Democrats gotta have something. So little Miss Holier Than Thou gives this letter to Senator Reptile Bait for safe keeping. Why? If she didn’t want anyone to hear about it, why write it down? Of course the senator promised to keep it a secret, which she did right up until the right moment when she she let it leak to anyone who’d listen, and then stood back snake amazed as the story in the papers.

Here comes Pound Me Too. I’m old school. Back in my day the # sign meant “pound” so I spell it out. Hillary slips in. She knows all about screwing drunk young girls. Ford spills her guts but her witnesses can’t remember even being at that party, BUT we gotta have an investigation. Then The whole thing is put on hold while the FBI gets the facts. Hope they do better than they did when the school teacher took off with one of his students a few years back. A hippy caught him.

All of this ended up on Facebook. And, like a fool, I got involved. I knew better, but the whole thing was so stupid, and I was drunk so I’m like, “What the hell?” I came on like a gentleman. Someone suggested that I be sodomized by a priest. I prefer nuns. Then someone asked about the time I was molested. Well, there was this time with Sally Taylor, but I’m not sure who molested who. Now this is serious political discussion on Facebook, folks. These are the people who voted for Hillary.

Ok, I egged them on. I mean, when you run into that much stupid, it’s Sunday, and you got martinis? And they always come at you saying you have problems. I DO have problems. All my high school drunk dates kept their mouths shut, so what’s YOUR problem?

Democrats! These are your representatives. You PAY these people. They are actually spending YOUR money investigating a high school beer party. Nobody was raped. Nobody got a DWI. Nobody got a parking ticket. Wise up. I know you hate Trump. I got that. Deal with it. I’m sorry if Ms Ford is upset because her friend was prettier than her. And, from what I’ve seen, time has not been kind to her. Let it go. If Kavanaugh don’t get in somebody else will. Know what’ll happen the next day? Two Drunk Girls Walked Into a party. Happens all the time.

The Butcher Shop

The Butcher Shop
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The Butcher Shop is an alternative news source based in the Tea Party Tribune. It is a collection of minds started by Bill the Butcher, a conservative op/ed journalist who began publishing forty years ago. We strive to make the articles informative, entertaining, and diverse. All you see will cause you to stop and consider. We try not to drone on with the same old day after day clap trap that may have driven you away from mainstream media. So, what’s your cut of meat? Shop around. The Butcher Shop is happy to fill your order.

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