Categorically Speaking

by Brother Theo

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Penn &Telle

Categorically Speaking, a quick and simple fact for the fact minded among us: Human brains work on the principle of association. The obvious benefits of this are that we obtain a linear process of thought, and that rapid decision making is Penn &Tellemade possible. The down sides include making it possible to fool us easily by association of “bad things” with “good things” by making them seem like the good things they are not. It’s associative thinking that makes magic tricks possible.

The magician uses very nimble hands and distraction to join two unassociated things, say, a whole girl and a girl sawed into two parts, and joins them into a single, impossible thing. The key word to remember here is tricks. If you are mystified, you do not understand the trick.

Magic tricks are, as you know, tricks. Briefly, the process is facilitated by our bodies. Stimulus, or data receptor neurons send signals to neural clusters designed to receive and send sensory data along neural pathways toward the brain. In the process the data must jump across intersections to be received and passed along by other neural clusters. Along the way, the data is refined and directed according to a process of receptor training which has taken place over a long period of time. Thus, when our eyes perceive a mason jar our brain settles on a mason jar as the perceived object, rather than a jug. It must be noted however, that in the absence of a needed jug, the optical stimulus of the jar will inevitably, in some people, catch the interest of nearby receptor neurons along the pathways from the retina to the brain, and presto! Moonshine in mason jars. If necessity is the mother of invention, then the process of associative, categorical thinking is it’s father.

Penn and Teller have a quarter trick. In it, Teller has a metal cup. He drops a quarter in it, and you hear it hit. Then, he begins to take quarters from thin air, and likewise, drops them thin to the cup. You hear it. Even taking glasses from a member of the audience, and dropping quarters from them into the cup, and again, you hear it. What’s more, you see it. This is categorically impossible, but you see it because you expect to see it, and your brain fills in the missing dots.

It must be said that the process of receiving, storing, and retrieving information categorically has served us well throughout our development. This useful attribute has allowed us to generally avoid widespread and regular death by poisoning, as we can group poisonous plants and animals with ease. One look at the triangular head of a viper and we know to be cautious. So why the devil did we popularize the expression ‘you can’t judge a book by it’s cover’? Well, put your feet up and relax, ‘cause I’m fixin’ to tole you.

Categorically, I have always been a democrat. This means that I have been prejudiced against conservative causes simply because the associative process links those causes with the exercise of republican power. Similarly, if proposals are of republican origin, then they must be bad. Ever since President Kennedy was assassinated, presumably by conservative republicans (or so said my associative process of deduction), I have sacrificed much in the name of the democratic cause. It was a mistake.

It was a mistake, because that wonderful process of categorization is poised to destroy western civilization in its entirety. As I write these words the enemies of the west are conducting blitzkrieg invasions of Europe, America, and even such unlikely places as South Korea. The target of these forces, and make no mistake, these are forces, is everything that is not Islamic. They are moving into our countries, ignoring our laws, and stealing our children’s futures. Hell, in many cases they are stealing our children.

Is this proof that you, as a conservative republican were right, while I was wrong? If you think that, ask yourself the ultimate question. Who is allowing this to happen? What name or face can we put on this disaster? Hillary? Certainly! George Bush? Certainly! Dick Cheney, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, Paul Ryan, Ted Cruz? Most certainly! It is obviously the intent of the established political power structure, democrat and republican, to allow an overwhelming of our culture by invaders from Africa, the Middle East, and South America. Who else could it possibly be?

Many see this as racist rhetoric and label it nationalism. Well, Duh! I am an American. This is one category I refuse to shed. I will fight the loss of my national identity in the streets, in my very home if I must, but I would rather die than see the invaders tear down the temples of my people, or scatter the ashes of my father. Yeah, i know, i just quoted Cicoero, but if Winston Churchill can do it so can I. If you are not a nationalist, then you are on the menu!

I would ask you this, would it not be better to look beyond our political identities toward the center, our national identities to determine beside whom we will strive? I cannot say more than this. Be a populist in all things. Rise up against the establishment. Vote for the other side if that is what it takes to unseat them. Tell your mind how to work, and don’t see the quarters!

The Butcher Shop
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The Butcher Shop is an alternative news source based in the Tea Party Tribune. It is a collection of minds started by Bill the Butcher, a conservative op/ed journalist who began publishing forty years ago. We strive to make the articles informative, entertaining, and diverse. All you see will cause you to stop and consider. We try not to drone on with the same old day after day clap trap that may have driven you away from mainstream media. So, what’s your cut of meat? Shop around. The Butcher Shop is happy to fill your order.

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