I write right off the top of my head. I'm direct, funny, and simple. The key word is, "simple." I have a high school education from Killeen High in Killeen, Texas, and that's about as illiterate as you can be, and they still let you drive a car. No use trying to slander me. If you want to dig dirt on me you'd better bring a dump truck, because friend, I've done it all. If there was anything I missed it's only because no one told me about it, because if they did, well, I'd have done that, too! I call myself, "A Simple Ol' Boy From Austin," because when I fall short I can always say, "Hey, I told you from the start that I was stupid."